Hey, there! I talk about non-linear growth strategies and leadership development for tech leaders. Get mindset deep dives to break through into senior leadership roles.
Mounica Veggalam | 26-04-2024
Read time: 6 mins
Hi Reader,
Every conversation is an opportunity to uncover your leadership.
You are responsible for changing how your manager, your report, or your team “thinks.” And you are successful when you’ve moved their mind from the sea of surface-level tasks to a deeper why — why they’re doing what they’re doing — to create more impact.
The way you do this is by setting tight containers for transformation.
Today I’m going to share this framework of containers that some of the best executive coaches I know use to create change.
If you implement this in your daily conversations at work, you’ll feel confident about directly challenging, driving influence in meetings, and making the icky tough decisions.
I got a little delayed with this edition as I was battling with putting my thoughts into a clean framework. I would have had a trashcan full of scrunched papers if I was writing the old-school way. Thank goodness for the digital revolution. 😂
I hope you find today’s issue as game-changing as it was for me. Let’s dive in!
Most strategies for running effective meetings— whether 1-on-1s or team meetings— stop their thinking at the level of efficiency.
Meetings cost time and money. So, understandably you want to make these more “efficient”:
But, the problem with this “let’s be more effective” approach is that you get frustrated and annoyed when others don’t follow your rules. (They do it their way or seemingly step over you). You feel disrespected, and you double down on the processes and efficiencies.
And you lead everyone into a rigidity hell and constant low-grade anxiety.
You see, the real problem is that most conversations are kept at a surface level. Most of us avoid getting uncomfortable with even subtle confrontations. Think about it. For any given meeting, especially 1-on-1s, what do people do?
But we easily let them pass and avoid addressing these issues until they blow up.
And when things get out of control, we set rules and try to manage them. All our time and bandwidth go into managing these rules, boundaries, and best practices.
The result?
No time for actual work (or to focus on our careers). Eventually, you get a sense of loss of control and start hating your job.
This is why simply working on “effective” with best practices like agenda & action items is not enough.
They know the true power of what a conversation can create.
A powerful conversation is a point of subtle transformation for everyone involved. Legendary leaders focus on transformation rather than the surface-level “being more effective” strategies.
That’s how they maximize their impact for the time they spend.
The best leaders ask the right questions:
These questions help leaders influence people to make powerful commitments that lead to high output and high-performing teams.
The person who entered the conversation is not the same person when they leave the conversation.
A legendary leader leaves the report slightly transformed, with a slightly different way of thinking and a slightly different way of seeing the world.
Okay, sounds grand and all.
But, how is this possible for average folks like us, who run away at the first sign of discomfort, hole up on the couch (or get lost in productive work) and would rather not be known as an aggressive ass?
Introducing… Containers.
We want to reframe every conversation, every meeting, and every relationship as a TRANSFORMATIONAL CONTAINER instead of a transaction with rules, boundaries, and best practices.
Containers have 1) Goals 2) Agreements 3) Commitments 4) Support
You already set containers and are a part of containers. You just don’t know it.
Setting containers is about co-creating a common goal and planting a stake in the ground that both parties can hold onto. When you do this intentionally, your influence becomes powerful. You never get into splitting the difference.
Then, your leadership career is about practicing holding tight containers (which then becomes your spiritual practice).
The big question is, “How?”
Each time you get annoyed at your report or the way your meetings are running, ask these questions:
Then the container holds the potential for transformation and growth.
When you ask these questions, you’re challenging yourself, and the people involved to “think about their thinking.”
You’re holding the potential for them to show up in a new way.
You’re standing alongside them to figure out their goals and change their current behavior to get to those goals.
It’s not about who’s “better,” who’s “wrong,” or who “should change.” It’s about what transformation do we need to unlock. Then the tough conversations are not so tough anymore- they’re conversations about agreements and commitments.
So, next time when your reports/manager breaks your boundaries, try this:
Holding transformational containers applies to personal life as well:
Executive Presence and Performance Coach
Hey, there! I talk about non-linear growth strategies and leadership development for tech leaders. Get mindset deep dives to break through into senior leadership roles.
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